I hear the words “being a mom is hard” come out of my mouth and immediately I cringe. I know I will likely hear a comment that is not going to make me feel much better. If anything, it will make me feel worse. I can almost start listing them off: you don’t know how blessed you are; other people wish they had kids; etc. I am so beyond thankful for the gift of motherhood and my three girls.
So, if you have ever been the person who has felt drawn to scold a mom or immediately remind her of her blessings, I have made this list for you. See, when a mom says “being a mom is hard,” there is so much more behind those words.
What it may mean:
I am tired and I haven’t slept in 7 years.
I am trying to manage this new phase of our lives.
One kid is teething and one kid is tantruming.
I feel like I am failing them.
I lost my temper today.
My kids are growing up so fast.
I am not a pinterest mom.
I miss the school stuff because I have to work.
I hate putting them in daycare.
I feel guilty because I like working and my job.
My kid is sick and it hurts me to see them like that.
I am comparing myself to others and I feel don’t measure up.
My child struggles in school and it breaks my heart.
Everything that worked with kid one, doesn’t work with kid two.
My child isn’t making friends.
My child is getting made fun of.
My child is being a bully.
I can’t seem to manage everything on my plate.
I have no idea what I am doing right now.
I give so much of myself to my kids that I have nothing left for my husband.
I am single mom/widow and I must be both parents.
I am afraid I am screwing them up.
Money is tight and we are struggling.
My kids are close together and fight constantly.
My kids are far apart and don’t relate.
We are divorced and trying to navigate co-parenting.
I am struggling to relate to my teenager.
My husband and I disagree on parenting and it causes us to argue.
I feel like I handled that situation wrong and I don’t know how to fix it.
Now that we have some ideas of what she may be saying.
Here is a list of what those words do not mean!
I don’t love my kids.
I am selfish.
I wish I didn’t have children.
I am not thankful for them.
I do not realize I am blessed.
I am ungrateful.
I am uncaring.
My kids are a burden.
Too often we jump to lecturing and shaming instead of just listening and acknowledging. Being a mom is hard and it is okay to say it. But it is hard because we love our kids. Because they are important. Because we want to be good moms. Instead of judging or assuming what a mom means when she says “This is hard,” embrace her, listen to her, love her. Moms, we need each other’s support, not more shaming. Let’s help each other navigate. Lighten the load.